Love Was Confusing
by Gaaragirl2020
Summary: Gaara doesn't know what he's feeling for the blonde. He doesn't even know what love means, so he goes to the library to research. yaoi.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! You don't have to rub it in! –runs away sobbing-

Okay well onto the story!

Love _Was _Confusing

It was confusing this "love" thing. Now Every time Temari would come to say good night to me, she would say "I love you Gaara"

What the hell? She'd never said that to me before. So why now? I knew though. It was because she was scared before, when I had been cold and ruthless. A brain-less killing machine. She said it now because ever since the fight with Naruto, I had become more stable. What a bitch.

I didn't hate that "love" word….It sounded somehow comforting and strangely nice…

I'd never felt comforted in anything. I'd been comforted once in hoping my mother still loved me. She doesn't love me, she hates me. I'd also been comforted in my uncle's false words, telling me that my mother and all of Suna didn't hate me, when I knew they did.

I'd been a screwed-up child. I still think I am…

Naruto said that I had to "love" to become strong. My heart speeded up at the thought of Naruto.

What was "love"? There was that word again, that damn word was everywhere! Especially in my head when I thought about the blonde. Every time I thought about him a weird, warm and foreign feeling would squeeze my heart.

I didn't know what the heck it was...and it was scaring me. Okay so, could someone, other than my stupid siblings tell me what that meant?!..

I sighed as I stared out the library window. I knew it was weird to be in the library on a sunny, warm day in Konoha, but I wanted to read and research about…"love". Don't you dare say I'm stupid.

No one was at the library except me and the mean, old lady behind the front desk. Seemed she had better things to do today, not really my fault. I slipped into a library section labeled love. There were tons of books. I was totally clueless about which one to pick. I looked around and spotted a couple of decent-looking books. I grabbed them and made my way to an empty desk in a corner. I sat down and opened the first book. It had pictures in it. I flipped a page and saw the word "sex" in bold at the top. I stared. That word sounded weird. I'd never heard it before, so I read on curiosity getting the best of me.

_Sex is a god given gift._

Okay? I knew what god was…weird so he gave us sex? As gift? I read on.

_Sex is a very pleasurable experience. It is usually shared between a man and woman. But it can be shared between two males or two females._

Okay? Again, I read on.

_A homosexual or gay is the term for someone who likes the same gender as themselves. _

I flipped the page.

It showed two pictures of bodies, I recognized to be male and female. I read the captions and it said what to do when "having sex." I flipped the page again. It told how to have sex with two males or two females. I read on, fascinated. So much information I'd never even heard about or knew existed. It said something about what erections were. I blushed at this, which I'd never done.

I read until I was pretty sure it had been a couple of hours since I'd started the book. I looked at the other book. It was titled "How to Tell If You Are in Love." I flipped to the first page and started reading.

_Love is when you feel a warm feeling in your heart for someone. It's not always easy to tell. But you can find out with these tips. _

What the Hell?

_1. Does he/she turn you on?_

I had learned about that in the other book.

_2. Does he/she make you feel good about yourself? _

_3. Do you have any sexual dreams about them?_

_4. Do you have an urge to kiss or touch him/her?_

I stopped reading. I knew what was happening to me…I was in love with Naruto.

Was I seriously, my new-found word, Gay?

Well, I guess I did have some dreams about him, but all we were doing was holding hands and walking down a path in the park. Was that wrong?...

I never did have an urge to touch him nor myself…

Looking at him was good enough for me.

I had read about touching in the other book. Other than being abusive, my father was a drunk. One night, when he came home extremely drunk I was having dinner. He had hit me and I had fallen down. Then he started saying how I was ugly and deserved to be punished for it. He then had stuck his hand in my pants and touched. I had screamed and run away. I had stayed at my favorite playground back in Suna.

It made feel sick and exposed. I had felt uncomfortable about my body ever since. I would only let my brother or sister see me naked. I knew what he had done to me now, and it made me angry to know he was dead and I couldn't kill him myself.

I put the books back on the shelf and left the library. It started to rain. What the hell?! It'd been sunny just a couple of minutes ago! The rain started coming down harder. It was cold.

I ran, not knowing where I was going. Life was just too cruel to me…

"Gaara!" A voice yelled above the sound of rain hitting pavement. I immediately recognized the voice as Naruto's. I sighed and stopped, now fully drenched in water. Damn life….

"Hey Gaara, Is that you?!" Naruto shouted, his bright, blonde hair bobbing as he jogged over to me.

"Yeah."

"Want to come inside? It's cold and you're soaking wet.

"Sure." I didn't really care if I caught a cold. I couldn't feel the rain or the cold anymore, my body was numb.

Naruto's apartment was simple, all necessary items there, no extra crap. It was warm and I was already starting to feel the numbness starting to melt away. Naruto gave me an orange towel. Funny. I put it to my face and inhaled. It smelled like him.

Naruto handed me some clothes.

"Go change! Or else you'll really catch a cold!" He pointed me in the direction of the bathroom. When I finished changing, I walked in the direction of the kitchen. I smelled tea and ramen.

"I'm done changing."

"Gaara, sit down. I made some tea and ramen." Naruto smiled. My heart skipped a beat.

"Thank you." I mumbled turning to the side, trying to hide my blush.

I didn't really like Ramen, but Naruto made it for me and I didn't want to refuse.

The tea was bitter; did I tell Naruto I liked bitter tea? I didn't remember.

"Gaara, do you love anyone in particular?" Naruto said suddenly.

"You…" gaara mumbled.

"What? I didn't hear you?" Naruto stood bringing the plates over to the sink where I was.

"I said…" I sighed. "You."

Naruto stared at me.

"I'll be going now." I went to run out the front door but Naruto grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Gaara…I love you too." Naruto whispered as he hugged me from behind.

This was too good to be true, I had to be dreaming. Life wasn't good to me.

"Naruto, pinch me."

"What? Why?" He said.

"Just do it."

"O-kay?" He pinched my arm. I felt the pain, okay so I wasn't dreaming. I turned around and kissed Naruto. He responded eagerly to my kiss. I smiled into the kiss.

Naruto had taught me love. I was now truly happy for the first time in my life, and I also...uh...had learnt about things I'd never known before...

Love _was _confusing but with Naruto it wasn't anymore…New possibilities had been granted to me, and I sure as hell wouldn't pass on them. But first, I think I was going to start with being a loyal and caring lover for Naruto. I would worry about the rest later.

_The End_

Thanks for reading! XD Don't forget to review!


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